1. The Sun
Honestly? I mean, just straight up, sun? Fuck you. You are too damn bright — who are you trying to impress?
2. The Pothole at the Corner of Halsted and Peoria
They have never fixed this ever and I hit it every goddamn time. In the car, on the bike, it doesn’t matter. I swear to God if I was walking down the sidewalk by this pothole, a bird or a flying lizard or something would swoop out of the sky, scare me into the street, and I would trip over the pothole and break my nose.
3. Peter Angelos
Oh, yeah. I blame him after the post-1996 coaching shake up. He doesn’t care about winning, really.
4. Scientists
Well, technologists, actually. Here it is, the 21st century, and we still don’t have machines which can be fixed by screaming curses at them and hurling them into the wall? Come on, guys. I know Ringrose is with me on this one.
5. Pterygota
Every time I go out riding recently, I get a flying insect in my mouth, eye, or ear. I know that the little bastards aren’t planning it, but it seems like it.
6. Al-Qaeda?
I guess.
7. Geese
Hissing bastards. The quantity of disgusting crap these birds can pump out is astounding. It makes the Lake Shore path almost unusable by the convention center.
Actually, only one and two comprise my enemies list, but having a list with just two items is lame. I had to pad it out a little.